My Dearest MacKynzie,
There is a current trend that I see consuming my social media and friend circles like wild fire. Mother after mother telling a similar story. The latest video I saw was a mother singing to an Alanis Morisette song, replacing the words with challenges of motherhood (poopy diapers, no time alone, messy house, etc.). At the end of the video, she stood behind her adorable, smiling, happy child and flipped him off. This video reached thousands of people and the comments exploded with laughs and affirmations.
In this crazy world of online expression for views and likes, it’s easy to get caught up in the latest trend without taking some time to sit back and think about the impact it has on your mind and soul. Especially when you feel like you can relate. The culture is changing more and more because of this type of mindset. Babies and kids in the world are seen as a liability, even to the point where it justifies and even celebrates the murder of them simply because they are seen as an inconvenience. I know it seems like a wide gap between making a funny video and abortion, but this is a toxic way of thinking and there is a slippery slope between them.
It’s not just mothers. The trend for young people seems to be moving more toward the decision to not have kids. Many young people like the idea of not having the responsibility of raising another human. Instead they choose to spend their time doing what they want to do. Similarly, their mindset is that having kids is a liability… something that takes away from the quality of their life. I do recognize that not all people are intended to raise children. I’m talking specifically about the trendiness and popularity and glorification of being kid free.
I’m not denying that motherhood is hard or that I crave a glass of wine at the end of a long day. As mothers, we give up a lot of ourselves to care for other human beings that are rarely helpful or grateful. Most kids are messy and loud and whiny and needy. But this trend is very toxic. Motherhood is a blessing, not a curse. Behold, the children are a gift from the Lord, a reward. As a follower of Jesus, I will choose to rejoice over every messy moment. I will choose joy even when it is not easy. I will gladly take on the gift of raising another generation to be good leaders that are loving and kind and generous. Becoming a parent has opened up so many things to me. Spending 11 years without a moment of quiet time in the bathroom changes a person. My bank account, home decor, hair color, laundry pile, refrigerator and back yard all look completely different than they would without kids. I have learned to be more patient, caring, giving and less selfish. My heart is full of love for two beautiful little humans. I get to watch them learn and explore and experience life. I get to help lead them and mold them. They are my biggest responsibility but also my biggest reward. I could not imagine life without my children.
There is a difference between a mom sharing her honest struggles as a parent with those closest to her versus blasting it out on social media for likes and laughs on the expense of her child that has no idea he or she is even doing anything wrong. This may seem innocent. But the devil is great at using seemingly unimportant small things to turn our minds away from the good things God wants for our lives.
My loving advice to you. We know as Christians that most of our lives are lived swimming up stream. When and if you have children, I ask you to join me and be intentional about lifting our children up instead of taring them down. Our kids have enough going against them already as they battle the things of this world. We are their parents, their protectors. That is our mission. You cannot shoot a broken arrow. Please reject the toxic trend of victim mommy mentality. Choose to instead, celebrate the beautiful messiness of motherhood. Surround yourself with other moms that can help you when you struggle and in turn lift them up with they feel like they are drowning. This is our most important assignment. The world needs confident kids that feel supported by their parents, not more viral feel bad for mommy videos.
Behold, children are a gift of the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward. - Psalm 127:3
Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one’s youth. - Psalm 127:4
Live to inspire others. My love to you and my prayer for an amazing life!
The purpose of this letter is to inspire my daughter MacKynzie to live a prosperous, God loving, joyful, legacy building life. Who knows, it may help you too. Please ‘like’ if you found this letter useful and please ‘share’ if you want to help inspire others. You never know who is watching ;)